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Manchester United fans vacate the woodwork just in time

“I’ve always supported them,”insisted Barnaby,a bleary-eyed United fan,having just woken from a long sleep.“And I was there through the hard years,even when Moyes signed Fellaini and f**ked everything up.”

How he’s managed to time his waking up with the Red Devil’s recent resurgence is anyone’s guess.But as the team’s fortunes continue to improve,it seems likely that we’ll all be hearing a lot more from fans of the Manchester team.“I’m a bit stiff,”said Barnaby,“but seven years in bed will do that to you.”

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