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North Londoners argue over which team is the least worst

‘We’re clearly on an upward trajectory,’ shouted Carl.

‘We’re just having a blip.And our manager’s a proven winner,’ shouted Dave.

As I sat in a Wood Green pub and listened to two grown men fall out over which of their teams still mattered in the conversation about top-level English football,I asked myself one question:does the guidance say we should be one or two metres apart?Because depending on the answer,these men were either cooperating with government regulations or quite clearly flouting them.

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