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Stuey Dew under investigation for allegedly eating predecessors.

The puzzling disappearance of Solomon,Eade and McKenna from the public spotlight of recent times may now have an explanation–their fleshy innards are alleged to sit inside the 40 year old head coach’s gut,after a tip-off from a number of Suns’ players.

Anonymous 197cm Suns foundation player had this to say:

 “I’ve been around the club since the beginning,I know all the habits and mannerisms of Rocket,Bluey and Sol and how they act around the boys.What first drew my attention was that Stu was sniping players off the ball in training.Late hits,high tackles and straight up punches to the ribcage,even when we were doing laps. 

“Then he became super irritable and started really getting stuck into us at the breaks if we were down.He was swearing at us heaps and saying some real personal stuff.” 

“After a while he mellowed out a lot–some of us were getting up to no good after training and games and he just kind of looked the other way.‘Work hard,play hard’was the team mantra for a few months.”

“Some of the boys noticed that we hadn’t seen any of our past coaches anywhere in a long time and that’s when we put two and two together.”

“But hey,it’s all working out at least.We’re playing the best footy this club has ever seen.

Coaches and players have done a lot worse than eat other blokes and I’m ready to welcome him back with open arms if this does turn out to be!0,as long as he apologises and promises not to do it again.”

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