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Ukraine to be annexed by Russia after failing to nominate military branch

In an attempt to resolve ongoing turmoil in the region and find a fair compromise between the desires of the Ukrainian government and the pro-Moscow separatist movement,the UN recently adopted the AFL’s wildly successful ruck nomination rule.

Despite the conflict coming to a definitive close on Monday with Russian forces storming the nation’s capital and beheading sitting president Zelensky,Secretary General of the UN António Guterres was forced to defend his choice to implement the rule change.

“A war between two countries is like a ruck contest between two ruckmen – the biggest one normally wins.Russia had recently complained that other components of the Ukraine military were joining in the fight to gain an unfair advantage,so we decided to take a leaf out of the AFL’s book.”

“Ukraine had not communicated whether it was opting to use their army,navy or air force in these largely land-based skirmishes,so we had no choice but to let Russia’s nominated army run through the country uncontested.This is to prevent another branch of the military coming in and unfairly impacting the contest.”

Similar implementations of the rule are being looked at elsewhere in the world,in what could ultimately lead to world peace.

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