The AFL world today is coming to terms with the shocking news that Brisbane ruckman/forward Oscar McInerney is in fact three separate midgets sitting on each other’s shoulders.The charade was up after the ‘middle man’ Mac fainted as the midgets were finding their seat on the team bus,leaving ‘top man’ Oscar and ‘bottom man’ Ernie crumpling into the aisle.It is alleged that the Lions leadership group weighed up keeping a cover on the revelation in order for the men to play tonight against Richmond and possibly the entire finals series,before ultimately deciding to come forward,an allegation strongly denied by head coach Chris Fagan.
“We’re as shocked as everyone else is.I had my suspicions when he – when they,always insisted on showering last and alone.They didn’t like being touched by the physios or by anyone.In general,they preferred keeping to themselves.As individuals,they still have a lot of talent – Ernie is a stocky fella with incredible strength and Mac has elite balance and core strength.Of course,they’re no Big O though and with list sizes shrinking next season,it’ll be hard to keep all three of them.”
There have also been calls to invalidate Brisbane’s entire season,led by Melbourne president Glen Bartlett.
“The AFL should be enacting a retroactive headcount to wipe clear the scores in the 17 games that Oscar,Mac and Ernie played in.They should go to the bottom of the ladder and everyone else should be pushed up a spot.This is an absolute farce”
The news creates an interesting dynamic heading into the trade period,as both Carlton and St Kilda are already alleged to be putting together multi-million,multi-year deals to lure one or more members of the trio back to Victoria.All three are rumoured to be shunning a move to Moorabbin,owing to the Saints’ historically poor treatment of the vertically challenged.