Back Pocket Bulletin


Report:Renewed interest in Wayne Carey-inspired genre of fiction amongst footy fans.

A certain type of AFL rumour has appeared to make a comeback,with Gary Rohan the latest player to play the role of the horny dog who couldn’t keep it in his pants.In a variation of the rumour that is baseless as it is timeless,Rohan is purported to have cheated on his partner with a club trainer as reported in a recent WhatsApp screenshot.

BPB approached Neil Duff(@mightymihocek70),a long-time freelance BigFooty journalist and shit-stirrer,for insight on how these types of stories become manufactured.

“Look,I don’t who wrote this one but it’s brilliant.It’s got the standard Duck story,but they’ve changed the teammate’s wife to a club trainer which makes it more believable.The delivery – just exceptional.You can put out a tweet or make a Facebook post,but a WhatsApp screenshot – that implies that it’s from someone in the know or a mate of a player – it could even be an actual player!That’s the beauty of it.”

“Trolls and hack journos have been putting together boring rumours nowadays.Sometimes,you just need that sauciness of a player having sex with someone they shouldn’t be having sex with,anyone.Punch-ons at a nightclub,restaurant or kebab shop are so commonplace that it’s really not that exciting.But then you read about a player porking another player’s missus–that just gets the blood pumping I tell you what.”

“Whether it’s Alex Rance banging Jack Higgins’ partner or Dayne Beams or Allen Christensen banging whoever,it never gets old.They can be complete no-names and it’d still be scandalous – Elijah Taylor can tell you all about that one.Nothing beats this type of rumour,nothing.”

“With social media and technology growing at the rate that it is,I can take comfort knowing that rumours of the future will be even more thrilling”

BPB is not suggesting that Gary Rohan cheated on his spouse and engaged in inappropriate relations with a Geelong trainer,but man,imagine if he did.

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