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North Melbourne ball boy laid off as part of cultural reset

The tidal wave of personnel changes at Arden St continued today with the sacking of club ball boy as part of ongoing efforts to rebuild the club from ground up.CEO Ben Amarfio addressed the press,citing culture as the key reason behind the most recent job cut,although an extended rant on remuneration and unionisation seemed to suggest that there was more at play.

“Going forward,the position of ball boy will no longer exist at this footy club.It’s just a luxury we can’t afford at the moment.The job will now have to be a combined effort from players and coaches to fetch balls and put them all away at the end of each training session.Before the last players’ collective bargaining agreement,we’d just get the rookies to do it,but with bloody players’ unions and the AFLPA,they’re no longer required to do that under law.This means that for the last three years,we’ve had to pay a teenager $800 a year to do it,I’m trying to run a footy club here for Christ’s sake.”

“Expenditure still isn’t quite where it needs to be due to the financial climate created by COVID.We need to take the necessary measures to survive.More heads will roll,that’s for sure.Things will get worse before they get better.”

“Umm actually,you didn’t hear any of that.We’re doing just fine.He was slow at getting the balls sometimes,can you put down as the main reason?Bad for club culture.He had to go.”

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